Yes, I will be getting back to "Dark Redemption" eventually. But for the moment, in honor of the upcoming release of the new STAR WARS movie, here's something for my files.
It's a little-known fact that at one point George Lucas wanted to release a special edition of STAR WARS with with all the characters re-cast using actors from Hollywood's Golden Age inserted into the footage using computer graphics. "I always intended Han Solo to be played by Humphrey Bogart," he said, "and now we have the technology to do it."
Selling the franchise to Disney has postponed this plan, but perhaps someday we will see Luke Skywalker played by Jimmy Cagney, C-3PO by Edward Evertt Horton, and Darth Vader by Edward G. Robinson.
But who would play Yoda? It would have to be someone with the ears for it. I don't quite picture Clark Gable working in the role, but Bing Crosby might.
And with that in mind, let's have a few words of advice from the Ol' Groaner:
(to the tune of "Swingin' On a Star")
Would you like to walk on a star,
In a galaxy away far,
And be Jedi off than you are?
-- Or would you rather be a droid?
A droid is a kind of cybernetic schlemiel,
He's made out of chrome and stainless steel.
He has to do whatever humans say,
And when things go wrong he gets blamed anyway;
But if that like dosen't make you too annoyed,
You might do well to be a droid.
Or would you like to walk on a star,
In a galaxy away far,
And be Jedi off than you are?
-- Or would you rather be a wookie?
A wookie's an alien all covered with fur;
It's hard to distinguish him from her;
His hair is shaggy, hanging in his eyes;
Shave him bald, he's just three feet in size,
But if you don't get a trim, I'll bet a cookie;
Folks might mistake you for a wookie.
Or would you like to walk on a star,
In a galaxy away far,
And be Jedi off than you are?
-- Or would you be a Lord of Sith?
A Sith Lord's a guy whose name is raspy and hoarse;
He uses the Dark Side of the Force;
He's evil, nasty and he's cruel and mean;
He wears black armor, (easier to clean),
But if you want to give Good a total ,mith,
You might just be a Lord of Sith.
And all the nerf-herds aren't all in space,
You meet lots of them ev'ry place.
Better look yourself in the face;
You could be Jedi than you are...
-- You could be walkin' on a star!
